Dear Maid of Honor,
This is, from my personal experience, a simple guide to making your best friends journey to tying a knot exciting. I'm assuming your have already been asked to be the right hand woman of this big day. And if you haven't, well...... thanks for clicking to my little corner of the internet. I will try and make these tips broad but useful because no bride or wedding is the same.
Tip # 1
Round up the remainder bridesmaids and create a group message WITHOUT the bride. This is where you will plan the bach, showers, anything without blowing up the brides phone and adding to her stress.
Tip # 2
The Bachelorette Weekend!
This is a big job for you. But you still need the brides input. You don't want to go to a ski weekend if the bride prefers the beach ya know? So here are some great questions to ask her but still keep most of it a surprise because that half the fun.
-Top 3 locations for the bachelorette?
-From the locations chosen, top 2 things would she like to do?
Strip club, casino, pole dancing, massages, yacht party, peddle bar, party bus, hiking, it can be anything! I think 2 of these options for a weekend is perfect because it doesn’t book the whole weekend up but it is still something to look forward to. You never know about hangovers or late brunches so leaving some of the days in the weekend for flexibility is super nice.
-What month would she like to/be able to go?
Knowing this as soon as possible because this might make or break the price on where you guys stay.
-Does she want anyone outside of the wedding party to attend the bachelorette?
Other Bachelorette Tips
-Decorate! If at all possible get to the place before the bride and decorate the house! It can be anything but that honestly aids in the fun. Amazon has great deals on decorations and you can always find the return amazon stores like bintime and get stuff for stupid cheap.
-The bride doesn’t pay. There are many ways to do this. You can alternate paying for the brides food, drink and events throughout the weekend. Or one person can pay for everything for the bride and then at the end of the weekend that one person adds it all up and splits the total evenly among the other girls there. Venmo is your friend.
Tip # 3 the shower
Now obviously every bride is different. For example I preferred my shower to happen on my bachelorette weekend with my tight group of girls. I get uncomfortable opening gifts in front of people. So opening gifts with my 7 closets girls was very fun. With this option and depending on how many girls go, you will get less gifts but that’s not something that I cared about. This would be an important question to ask the bride too. If she wants a totally separate shower then that’s all you chika. Get a theme and color scheme rolling and get to planning. Another question along these lines would be if she wants it to be a lingerie and toy type of shower. You don’t want only one or 2 guests bringing lingerie and sex toys while the rest bring something off the registry and the bride isn’t expecting to open up a butt plug in front of grandma patty.
Tip # 4
Be at everything
Every couple’s shower, engagement party, dress fitting etc. Be at everything. Now if the bride doesn’t want you there that’s a different story. For example, I wanted to dress shop alone, and I wanted to go to my dress fittings alone. My maid of honor respected that. So there will need to be some communication. Obviously there are different circumstances for everything, but at the least make it known you want to be there, or be there virtually is an amazing option too.
Tip # 5
PRACTICE WITH THE DRESS & VEIL
On the big day you will expected to fix the brides dress and veil (if long) at the altar, photos, etc. So it is so important to practice. My maid of honor and I practiced twice before the big day. When I rushed up to her after my photos to bustle my dress it was “game time” and she was flawless. It helped in her stress and mine.
Tip #6
Speech (2x)
You will need to have a speech for the day of the wedding. I would also have something light hearted for the rehearsal dinner too. Just in cases there is an open floor for some words to be said. Always consider who will be at the wedding when giving the speech too. Again, grandma patty doesn’t need to know about the Bride projectile vomiting while dancing on a table in a frat house junior year of college. Absolutely not. Lastly, don’t have it on your phone, have a printed or hand written piece of paper.
Tip # 7
Rescuing her on the wedding day if needed
On the day of the wedding the bride will be getting pulled a million directions to hug family, answer questions etc. Save that girl and get her on the dance floor. Make sure she never has an empty drink (if that’s how they roll) and make sure she remembers her wedding as the best time of her and her husband’s life! Now this roll also falls under using the bathroom and emergency situations too. For example, my small train on my dress was still getting stepped on, on the dance floor at my wedding. It was bustled up, but for the degree of partying I was doing, not enough. So I went up to my maid of honor and told her I wanted to cut my dress. No questions were asked and we went to the bridal suite and we chop chop chopped the train off so it wouldn’t get stepped on! It was great!
Tip # 8
Be the one that's prepared
For the wedding, showers, and bachelorette be the one that has the tampon, the scissors, the razor, Tylenol, all the things you can think of that the bride wouldn’t. Even beer. I might even go to the extent to having copies on the best man’s speech because you never know if they will lose it.
Tip # 9
Support what the bride wants. If the bride wants tie dye roses and clowns as ushers, then you support her. Now if she asks for your opinion that’s totally different. Give her your thoughts in the most considerate way possible.
Tip # 10
Finally, at the end of the day, be her best friend and enjoy the process with her. She chose you to be right beside her so do it. Don't take this role as the assigned wedding planner or organizer. Yea you help leading up to the events BUT when the events come, whether it’s a shower, bachelorette, or wedding, be present with her and have a blast.
